“Anea Bogue helped our community do critical foundational work for cultural change around ending sexual misconduct. Anea’s work with our students, families and staff built common language and understanding around contributing factors and how to alter them.  One of the things we appreciated the most about our collaboration with Anea was that it was a true collaboration.  She met with our students, staff and parents and customized her approach, presentations and materials to our community’s needs.  Especially valuable, was the time she took to understand and integrate our work with our existing instruction and efforts.”    – Miriam Stevenson, Director of Wellness & Support Services Palo Alto Unified School District

 

 

 

With the much-needed swell of awareness and intolerance  of sexual harassment, sexual coercion, and sexual assault, now is the time to create a Culture of Consent in our schools.

Sexual Misconduct Prevention & Affirmative Consent

Workshops & Presentations

  Presented by

 

  • Anea’s revolutionary Sexual Misconduct Prevention presentations and workshops support schools by guiding students to develop language and tools of consent so they can create healthy relationships in all forms.
  • Anea’s progressive, research-based sexual misconduct prevention presentations and workshops address the root causes and provide practical, action-oriented solutions students, teachers and parents can apply immediately to create meaningful change.
  • Anea and her team consult with administrators, staff, and students to customize a program that addresses the specific needs of your campus.

A highly sought-after speaker and educator, Anea has delivered dynamic, inspiring, and relevant presentations to thousands of engaged students, concerned parents and teachers.

The 5 Critical Facts that Transcend Every School Community

  1. No matter how much time, energy, and money we invest in a child’s academic future, becoming a perpetrator or victim of sexual misconduct will directly impact that child’s academic potential and opportunity.
  2. It can be overwhelming to create a school-wide Culture of Consent without the guidance of a highly trained expert.
  3. Creating a Culture of Consent requires the investment of all stakeholders…educators, parents and students.
  4. Successful programs require research-based solutions that directly address root causes and practical action steps.
  5. Each school community is best served by customizing its approach.

 

Complicating the challenge, parents most often believe that it is someone else’s child who will become the victim or perpetrator of sexual misconduct.

“Anea Bogue’s presentation was relevant, interesting, clear, interactive, and geared to each grade level that she presented to.  She presented to grade level audiences of 500+ students at each assembly and each time she presented, she was able to not only get the attention of the students but more importantly, she was able to keep the attention of the students, for 70 minutes!  When you have a “mandatory assembly” for students in a high school setting, the student feedback you expect to get is not always enthusiastic and positive.  However, the feedback we received from the majority of our students was that they liked the presentation, that they learned new information, and that they felt that their time was well spent at the assembly.  This was a major win! Also, from an administrative perspective, Anea and her team were easy to work with and accommodated our requests for Anea to customize her presentation to fit the culture of our student community.  I would highly recommend her as a speaker to educate high school students about sexual misconduct and sexual violence awareness and prevention, and look forward to working with her again in the future!”   – Vicki Kim, Assistant Principal at Palo Alto High School

Components of Anea’s Sexual Misconduct Prevention Presentations & Workshops:

  • Specialized 60-90 minute interactive presentations led by Anea Bogue for groups of 30-300+
    • Customized presentations for parents, students and educators
  • Support Documents, Handouts, Posters, and Lesson Plans for staff and faculty to help debrief and dive-deeper into presentation content
  • Teacher-Trainings to provide them with the tools and knowledge necessary to help create the path of change for your entire student body
  • Customized small group workshops curriculum for middle and high school students co-facilitated by Staff and Student Leaders
  • Tools and tips for parents to support them having healthy conversations with their children about preventing sexual misconduct

All programs preceded by in-person or phone consultation/support from Anea and her team to address your school’s specific needs.

During Anea’s Sexual Misconduct Prevention Presentations & Workshops…

Students will:

  • Learn clear definitions supported with age-appropriate examples of sexual misconduct key terms (sexual harassment, sexual coercion, sexual assault, and rape).
  • Understand that affirmative consent can and should be present in both sexual and non-sexual scenarios
  • Discuss the consequences of non-consensual sexual interaction, for both the victim and the perpetrator
  • Discover the prevalence of sexual misconduct on middle and high school campuses and study multiple real-life examples
  • Understand the role of alcohol, illicit drugs and pharmaceuticals in sexual misconduct
  • Learn the ‘Five Ways to Create a Culture of Consent on Their Campus’:

Educators will:

  • Become familiar with the student presentation to guide their support and reinforcement of content and the creation of a culture of consent on campus
  • Learn how to reinforce bodily autonomy, healthy boundary setting and receiving, and affirmative consent in the classroom and around campus
  • Learn to become an ‘Askable Adult’
  • Understand the basic steps for responding to a student who discloses an incident of sexual misconduct

Parents will:

  •  Learn clear definitions and examples of consent, sexual harassment, sexual coercion, sexual assault, and rape
  • Understand the prevalence of sexual misconduct on middle and high school campuses through the exploration of statistics and real-life examples
  • Learn to build and/or strengthen lines of communication with their adolescent child
  • Learn key steps to model and guide their adolescent child in engaging in healthy and consensual communication and relationships
  • Learn to become an ‘Askable Adult’
  • Learn, understand and gain confidence in applying the ‘Five Ways to Create a Culture of Consent on Campus’ at your child’s school
 

“I’ve been a high school educator since 1994. Over that time, I have seen numerous presentations that cover every topic imaginable. Anea’s presentation easily stands out as one of the best I’ve ever seen. Anea’s content and delivery made a clear impact on students and teachers alike. She held our collective interest by telling real stories and sharing real tools that students can use to create a culture of consent. Our students walked out of Anea’s presentation with much contemplate about their lives, and I’m confident that they will carry Anea’s wisdom throughout high school and beyond.”

– Phil, Head of School

“Anea Bogue helped our community do critical foundational work for cultural change around ending sexual misconduct. Anea’s work with our students, families and staff built common language and understanding around contributing factors and how to alter them.  One of the things we appreciated the most about our collaboration with Anea was that it was a true collaboration.  She met with our students, staff and parents and customized her approach, presentations and materials to our community’s needs.  Especially valuable, was the time she took to understand and integrate our work with our existing instruction and efforts.”    – Miriam Stevenson, Director of Wellness & Support Services Palo Alto Unified School District

 

 

Free Printables & Handouts For Students

Sexual Harassment Definitions & Examples

9 Ways to Create A Culture of Consent – Student Version

How To Be An Upstanding Bystander

Do I Have Consent Flowchart

Websites For Teens
Consent Videos For Teens
Consent (Middle School)

Teasing Not Just Harmless Fun

Consent (Elementary School)

Tea and Consent (Middle School and High School)

Let’s Talk About Consent NYU (High School)

Laci Green Consent 101 (High School – Mature)

Documentaries Addressing/Discussing Sexual Misconduct
Miss Representation

Hunting Ground

The Mask You Live In

Important Information For Students & FAQs From Teens

Have you or has someone you know been a victim of sexual misconduct? Are you looking for more information on how to deal with sexual misconduct and be an ‘Upstanding Bystander’? Read the information below to answer your most urgent questions. Have a question that you believe is missing from the list? Email us to let us know and seek information( info@realyouprograms.com).

What is Consent?
An informed and conscious decision by each participant to enthusiastically engage in mutually agreed-upon sexual activity….THROUGHOUT the activity.

To remember the most important qualities of affirmative consent (or to teach it to students of any age), just remember FIRE:

  • Freely given. Doing something sexual with someone is a decision that should be made without pressure, force, manipulation, or while drunk or high.
  • Reversible. Anyone can change their mind about what they want to do, at any time. Even if you’ve done it before or are in the middle of having sex.
  • Informed. Be honest. For example, if someone says they’ll use a condom and then they don’t, that’s not consent.
  • Enthusiastic. If someone isn’t excited, or really into it, that’s not consent.

Learn more here.

What is the difference between sexual harassment, sexual coercion, sexual assault, and rape?
  • Sexual harassment is unwelcome conduct of a sexual nature, which can be verbal, nonverbal, or physical. Examples include, but are not limited to: unwanted sexual looks or gestures, unwanted pressure for dates, whistling at someone, catcalls, sexually explicit statements, questions, jokes, name calling and bullying related to somebody’s sex or sexuality.
  • Sexual coercion is the act of using pressure, persistent attempts to have sexual contact with someone who has already refused, using alcohol/drugs, or force to have sexual contact with someone against their will. Examples include, but are not limited to: efforts to convince you that you ‘owe’ them because you’re in a relationship or they bought you something, a negative reaction if you say no, continued pressure to engage in a sexual activity after you have said no.
  • Sexual assault is any type of sexual contact forced upon someone who has not given their consent or with someone who cannot consent, such as someone who is underage, has an intellectual disability, is under the influence of drugs or alcohol, or is passed out. Examples include, but are not limited to: attempted rape; someone touching, fondling, kissing, or making any contact with your body (touching above or under clothes) without explicit consent; someone forcing you to perform oral sex or forcing you to receive oral sex.
  • Rape is non-consensual sexual intercourse. Sexual intercourse means vaginal, anal, or oral penetration by the offender. This ALSO includes one person inserting their fingers inside another person’s body without explicit consent.

    Remember: Sex with CONSENT is sexy. Sex without consent is RAPE.

How often are sexual assault accusations false?
According to the National Sexual Violence Resource Center, false reporting for sexual assault is between 2% and 10%. However, the majority of victims never report.

What do I do if someone discloses to me that they are a victim of sexual misconduct?
1. Listen attentively and say the following:

  • I believe you.
  • It’s not your fault.
  • I’m here to support you.
  • Let’s go find some help.

2. Be compassionate and do not judge the survivor or make excuses for why it might have happened.

3. Provide the support your friend needs and encourage them to seek the help and support of a trusted adult (parent, relative, teacher, mentor, counsellor, administrator) and to seek medical attention if needed.

Learn more here.  (Source: RAINN)

What do I do if I have been sexually assaulted or raped?
It’s hard to know what to do, how to feel, or what your options are after a sexual assault. Please know that you’re not alone. Below are some things to keep in mind. If you are in immediate danger or seriously injured, call 911.

  1. Ensure you are in a safe place/ Get to a safe place. Are you in a safe place? If you’re not feeling safe, consider reaching out to someone you trust for support. You don’t have to go through this alone.
  2. Remember that what happened was not your fault. Something happened to you that you didn’t want to happen—and that’s not OK.
  3. Get support. Call a trusted friend or adult to come help you. Contact the police and if needed, contact the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800.656.HOPE (4673).

Learn more here.  (Source: RAINN)

What do I do if I witness an occurrence of sexual misconduct among my peers?
If it is safe for you to intervene, do so without attacking the perpetrator. You can create a distraction or find an excuse to interrupt. If you cannot check on the victim in that moment with privacy and confidentiality, make sure you do so as soon as possible.

Read more about being an Upstanding Bystander here.

How can I help someone who has been sexually assaulted?
  • Immediately say to the victim the following: “I believe you. It’s not your fault. I’m here to support you. Let’s get some help.”
  • Every individual will find different things comforting or helpful so it’s important to listen to the individual and respect their needs and requests.
  • RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline for Women & Men: 800-656-HOPE (4673)
  • LGBT Youth Hotline: 800-246-7743
  • National Suicide Hotline: 800-784-2433
  • National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673
  • Click here for a comprehensive list of resources for sexual assault survivors and their loved ones.

If you or someone you know has been a victim of sexual assault call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800.656.HOPE (4673).

Click Here Get Help Now

Educator & School FAQs

You got questions? We got answers! Scroll through the various themes and topics to get more information about Sexual Misconduct and Prevention Programs by Anea Bogue, her approach and methodology, and get your most urgent questions regarding consent and sexual misconduct answered.

Questions about Anea’s speaking presentations and bringing REALyou to your school

How will students benefit from the REALyou Program? What skills and knowledge will they acquire?
Through Participation in the REALyou Program Students will be able to:

  • Define healthy relationships as consensual, mutually pleasurable, safe, communicative and rooted in respect.
  • Develop the knowledge, language, and tools needed to create and maintain healthy non-romantic, romantic, and/or sexual relationships.
  • Learn how to set and receive personal boundaries.
  • Create action steps to become change-makers in their communities.
  • Understand adolescence & ‘raging hormones’: What’s going on emotionally and physically (including the development of sexual attraction and curiosity) & the responsibility that comes with engaging in a sexual context (It is totally natural and healthy to feel sexually charged but this comes with responsibility)
  • Examine multiple real-life examples in order to comprehend how prevalent sexual misconduct is, and the long-term consequences for both the victim and the perpetrator.
  • Defining Sexual Misconduct (which includes Sexual Harassment, Sexual Coercion, and Sexual Assault)
  • Looking at Root Causes and Ending Sexual Misconduct
  • Personal Agency Over Ourselves & Our Bodies (Bodily Autonomy)
  • Personal Agency & Gender Roles As Modeled in the Media and Society
  • The Man Box, The Woman Box, The Human Box
  • Introduce Language of Consent in Non-Sexual Scenarios
  • Affirmative Consent: what it looks like, feels like & sounds like in a sexual context
  • Creating a Culture of Consent in Our Community: How can we encourage each other and keep each other accountable?
  • Learn Sexual Decision Making: the emotional, psychological, and spiritual impact of engaging in sexual activities, understanding what I am and am not ready to engage in, and how to express interest or desire in a healthy and safe way.
  • Gain tools to be an upstanding bystander and stop sexual misconduct before it begins.

How far will you travel?
Anea is able to travel almost anywhere and travel, accommodations, and per diem will be included with her speaking fee.

How long are your presentations?
The standard presentation is 90 minutes, which includes Q&A at the end. Please inquire about longer presentations.

At what age is it appropriate to talk to children about sex and consent?
Teaching the proper names for body parts can start as early as you teach children words. Conversations about bodily autonomy (I am the boss of my body), and consent can begin at age 4 or 5 years old, and often even earlier. For example, we can teach children that they are the boss of their body and nobody has the right to touch it without their permission. This can be encouraged by not forcing children to hug people or hold hands if they do not feel comfortable doing so. Instead, we can offer our children the choice to hug, shake hands, or fist bump.

How will parents and educators benefit from the REALyou Program? What skills and knowledge will they acquire?
Through Participation in the REALyou Program Educators and Parents will be able to:

  • Understand how gender role programming is limiting our children’s sexual well-being.
  • Be a “safe” adult – a trusted adult for kids to approach with sex-related questions and concerns.
  • Understand adolescence & ‘raging hormones’: What’s going on emotionally and physically with our children (including the development of sexual attraction and curiosity) & teaching them about the responsibility that comes with engaging in a sexual context (It is totally natural and healthy to feel sexually charged but this comes with responsibility)
  • Examine multiple real-life examples in order to comprehend how prevalent sexual misconduct is, and the long-term consequences for both the victim and the perpetrator.
  • Know how to talk to your kids about safe and healthy choices in a sexual context.
  • Have the tools to support victims of sexual misconduct.
  • Know how to be a role model for healthy boundary setting and receiving.

What size does the audience need to be?
Anea has presented to various sized groups ranging from 30 to 200.

Questions about teaching and understanding ‘Affirmative Consent’ & Sexual Misconduct

What is Consent?
An informed and conscious decision by each participant to enthusiastically engage in mutually agreed-upon sexual activity….THROUGHOUT the activity.

To remember the most important qualities of affirmative consent (or to teach it to students of any age), just remember FIRE:

  • Freely given. Doing something sexual with someone is a decision that should be made without pressure, force, manipulation, or while drunk or high.
  • Reversible. Anyone can change their mind about what they want to do, at any time. Even if you’ve done it before or are in the middle of having sex.
  • Informed. Be honest. For example, if someone says they’ll use a condom and then they don’t, that’s not consent.
  • Enthusiastic. If someone isn’t excited, or really into it, that’s not consent.

Learn more here.

How do I teach consent in my classroom?
 The first and most powerful lesson in consent is through modeling and holding others accountable. Always ask before you touch someone (offering them a hug, a high-five, putting a hand on their shoulder). If you see students touching each other, ask if consent was asked for and enthusiastically given. When engaging with curriculum, point out examples of where consent was or was not give and open a dialogue about what the consequences were and if/how it could have happened differently.

How do I ensure that my students feel safe in my classroom?
 Enforce a strict code of respect, model respectful communication, be a good listener, teach bodily autonomy and create a classroom of consent.

What is the difference between sexual harassment, sexual coercion, sexual assault, and rape?
  • Sexual harassment is unwelcome conduct of a sexual nature, which can be verbal, nonverbal, or physical. Examples include, but are not limited to: unwanted sexual looks or gestures, unwanted pressure for dates, whistling at someone, catcalls, sexually explicit statements, questions, jokes, name calling and bullying related to somebody’s sex or sexuality.
  • Sexual coercion is the act of using pressure, persistent attempts to have sexual contact with someone who has already refused, using alcohol/drugs, or force to have sexual contact with someone against their will. Examples include, but are not limited to: efforts to convince you that you ‘owe’ them because you’re in a relationship or they bought you something, a negative reaction if you say no, continued pressure to engage in a sexual activity after you have said no.
  • Sexual assault is any type of sexual contact forced upon someone who has not given their consent or with someone who cannot consent, such as someone who is underage, has an intellectual disability, is under the influence of drugs or alcohol, or is passed out. Examples include, but are not limited to: attempted rape; someone touching, fondling, kissing, or making any contact with your body (touching above or under clothes) without explicit consent; someone forcing you to perform oral sex or forcing you to receive oral sex.
  • Rape is non-consensual sexual intercourse. Sexual intercourse means vaginal, anal, or oral penetration by the offender. This ALSO includes one person inserting their fingers inside another person’s body without explicit consent.

    Remember: Sex with CONSENT is sexy. Sex without consent is RAPE.

How often are sexual assault accusations false?
According to the National Sexual Violence Resource Center, false reporting for sexual assault is between 2% and 10%. However, the majority of victims never report.

What do I do if someone discloses to me that they are a victim of sexual misconduct?
Listen attentively and say the following:I believe you.

  • It’s not your fault.
  • I’m here to support you
  • Be compassionate and do not judge the survivor or make excuses for why it might have happened.
  • Check with your administration regarding reporting protocol at your school. For most school personnel, if you know a student has been a victim of sexual misconduct, you are are required to report.

What do I do if I witness an occurrence of sexual misconduct among the students?
  • If it is safe for you to intervene, do so without attacking the perpetrator. You can create a distraction or find an excuse to interrupt. If you cannot check on the victim in that moment with privacy and confidentiality, make sure you do so as soon as possible.
  •  Check with your administration regarding reporting protocol at your school. What you witness might need to be immediately reported.

How can I help someone who has been sexually assaulted?
  • Immediately say to the victim the following: “I believe you. It’s not your fault. I’m here to support you. Let’s get some help.”
  • Every individual will find different things comforting or helpful so it’s important to listen to the individual and respect their needs and requests.
  • RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline for Women & Men: 800-656-HOPE (4673)
  • LGBT Youth Hotline: 800-246-7743
  • National Suicide Hotline: 800-784-2433
  • National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673
  • Click here for a comprehensive list of resources for sexual assault survivors and their loved ones.

How can I help someone who has been sexually assaulted?
  • Immediately say to the victim the following: “I believe you. It’s not your fault. I’m here to support you. Let’s get some help.”
  • Every individual will find different things comforting or helpful so it’s important to listen to the individual and respect their needs and requests.
  • RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline for Women & Men: 800-656-HOPE (4673)
  • LGBT Youth Hotline: 800-246-7743
  • National Suicide Hotline: 800-784-2433
  • National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673
  • Click here for a comprehensive list of resources for sexual assault survivors and their loved ones.

Questions about the Importance of teaching Comprehensive Sexual Health Education and becoming an ‘Askable Adult’

What is Comprehensive Sexual Health Education?
Comprehensive Sexuality Education (CSE) is defined as “sex education programs that, in school-based settings, start by kindergarten and continue through 12th grade. High-quality CSE programs include age, developmentally, and culturally appropriate, science-based, and medically accurate information on a broad set of topics related to sexuality, including human development, relationships, personal skills, sexual behaviors, including abstinence, sexual health, and society and culture. CSE programs provide students with opportunities for learning information, exploring their attitudes and values, and developing skills.”

Source: SIECUS 

Will a comprehensive sexual health education encourage my child to have sex?
No, comprehensive sexual health education will not encourage your child to have sex. Comprehensive sexual health education has been shown to reduce rates of teen pregnancy and risk behaviors and increase the overall sexual health and well-being of youth. In fact, research consistently shows that denying children comprehensive sexual health education OR PROVIDING AN ‘ABSTINENCE ONLY’ APPROACH, negatively impacts young people’s sexual health. Overwhelmingly, it is the lack of education that leads to UNSAFE SEX, INCLUDING sexual misconduct, since adolescents find themselves exploring and experimenting without guidelines, and without safe or accurate information.

Learn more by visiting these sources:

What is an “Askable Adult”?
An ‘Askable Adult’ is someone who is approachable, non-judgmental, and able to be respectful of a young person’s curiosity and confidentiality.

The ‘Askable Adult’ is also well-informed with fact-based information and is willing to search for answers they don’t already know. (It’s ALWAYS okay to say, “That’s a great question. I’m going to get back to you on that one so I can give you an accurate answer.”)

The ‘Askable Adult’ is aware of the way they are communicating both verbally and non-verbally (body language, tone, energy) because kids read and are significantly affected by both.

How do I become an “Askable Adult”?
Steps and Characteristics of “Askable Adults”:

  • Listen with genuine curiosity and compassion.
  • Always be aware of how you are communicating both verbally and non-verbally.
  • Never, ever shame the student for their thoughts, feelings, desires, or curiosities. If you do, they will almost certainly stop viewing you as an ‘Askable Adult’ and will go elsewhere to get their questions answered.
  • Remember that it’s always okay to take a beat, so to speak. You can say, “That’s a great question! I’m going to need to get back to you on that one so I can give you an accurate answer.” (This response can also be used if you feel a freak-out coming on and you need a breather to pull yourself together, talk it through with your colleague, a friend, or a professional).

Resources For Schools & Educators

Websites For Teachers

Consent Videos For Students
Consent (Middle School)

Teasing Not Just Harmless Fun

Consent (Elementary School)

Tea and Consent (Middle School and High School)

Let’s Talk About Consent NYU (High School)

Laci Green Consent 101 (High School – Mature)

Young Adult Novels Adressing/Discussing Sexual Misconduct
The following novels address scenarios of sexual misconduct:

  • Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson
  • Fault Line by Christa Desir
  • What we saw by Aaron Hartzler
  • The Way I Used to Be by Amber Smith
  • Asking For It by Louise O’Neill
  • Exit, Pursued by a Bear by E.K. Johnston

For more books, see the following list by Common Sense Media.

Documentaries Adressing/Discussing Sexual Misconduct
Miss Representation

Hunting Ground

The Mask You Live In

Important Links For Partner Schools

Palo Alto Unified School District

If you are a student, faculty, or parent from Palo Alto Unified School District click here to download all of your resource pages from your customized presentation on Building Healthy Relationships & Creating a Culture of Consent.

San Mateo Union High School District

If you are a student, faculty, or parent from San Mateo Union High School District click here to download all of your resource pages from your customized presentation on Building Healthy Relationships & a Culture of Consent.

Los Altos High School

If you are a student, faculty, or parent from Los Altos High School click here to download all of your resource pages from you customized presentation and workshop on Building Healthy Relationships & Creating a Culture of Consent.

Egan Junior High School

If you are faculty or a parent from Egan Junior High School click here to download all of your resource pages from you customized presentation and workshop on Building Healthy Relationships & Creating a Culture of Consent.

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