Anea Bogue’s Book: 9 Ways We’re Screwing Up Our Girls and How We Can Stop

By the age of 9, the average girl will feel as good as she’s ever going to feel about herself.  After that, her self-esteem starts to take a nosedive, from which she may never fully recover. Why does her self-esteem follow this disheartening trajectory? Why are so many girls and women plagued by feelings of self-doubt? Whether we’re aware of it or not, we live in a culture that still values, trusts, and empowers males over females. Our traditions, politics, language, laws, media, and school curriculums are all rooted in a value system that perpetuates messages of female weakness, dependence and inferiority. We tell girls and women every day that they are less valuable than males, incapable of leadership and not worthy of being respected as equals.

These messages deeply impact a girl’s sense of value and her ability to thrive. By the time she enters adolescence, she becomes susceptible to poor academic performance, depression, eating disorders, bullying, risky sexual behavior, and simply feeling ‘not good enough.’ Though these dire consequences affect girls and women most directly, they are detrimental to us all. Like any team on which half the players are unable to perform to their fullest potential, this state of affairs leaves our whole society functioning at a deficit.

The good news is that because we created this reality, we also have the ability to create it differently. 9 Ways is a revolutionary guide for parents and anyone who cares about the well-being of girls. It is dedicated to shedding much-needed light on the root causes of the self-esteem crisis, the ways we are unknowingly contributing to it, and what we can do to ensure that every girl (and future woman) is empowered to live up to her full potential.

Drawing from more than 20 years of experience working with girls and women, Anea Bogue provides both insight and specific action steps that empower the reader to help create a world in which the female half of our ‘team’ is consistently capable of thriving mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Anea In Print

REALgirl endorsement from Elle Fanning and Variety magazine

Elle Fanning spreads the word about her favorite charity, REALgirl, and how it empowers girls to reach their full potential and lead positive lives.

Read the article from Variety →

Read more from USA Today →

9 Things Every Woman Should Know About Menstruation

Last week, the mother of ‘The Bachelor’ candidate Gia Allemand, told Dr. Phil that “intense pre-menstrual syndrome” contributed to her daughter’s suicide this past August. It’s impossible to know for certain the degree to which PMS may have been a factor in this tragic end to Ms. Allemand’s life. But…(read more)

Why Beyonce’s “Mrs. Carter Tour” is Bad for Women

International Women’s Day is all about pausing to reflect on our achievements in the long-standing effort to create equality between men and women. I must admit, writing about Beyonce Knowles as part of my thoughts on this important day of reflection was not really part of the plan this year…until she announced her upcoming tour. (Read more)

Nine Empowering Resolutions for Women in 2013

2012 has proven to be an incredibly exciting and important time to be a woman. After many centuries of being programmed with messages of our inferiority, I see ever-increasing signs of women remembering our inherent value. One especially important sign of this is the fact that we are re-discovering and using our voices, once (and still in some parts of the world) quieted by the threat of being severely punished in one way or another, for speaking truths that might challenge a fundamentally imbalanced status quo. (Read more)

What To Do When Your Child Has an Argument with a Friend

Arguing or bullying?
“Unlike ‘mean girl’ behaviours and bullying, an argument engages girls in using their voices to interact with each other and expressing their own perspectives, thoughts, concerns, expectations, wants and needs. It’s often because girls are afraid to say what they think and deal with conflict head-on—which is a natural part of any relationship—that they start to engage in ‘mean girl’ behaviours behind each other’s backs,” says Bogue.

“Encouraging girls to practise using their voices, to identify their expectations for mutual respect within their relationships and to communicate those directly with their friends—even if it means facing an argument—is a key tool for empowerment and self-esteem,” says Bogue. (Read More)

13 Ways to Boost Your Daughter’s Self-Esteem:
How to help girls build confidence based on what they can do, not what they look like

In a culture saturated with digitally altered images of impossibly thin women, raising girls with high self-esteem can be daunting indeed. But as parents, you have great influence—both by what you say and what you do. Here’s some advice from experts Catherine Steiner-Adair, EdD, a clinical psychologist, school consultant and creator of the “Full of Ourselves,” a social-emotional program for girls, Anea Bogue, MA, author (9 Ways We Are Screwing Up Our Girls and How We Can Stop), and the creator of REALgirl, an empowerment program for girls, and Mary Rooney, PhD, a clinical psychologist with the Child Mind Institute. (Read More)

Raising Girls With Healthy Self-Esteem:
How to help our daughters develop confidence and a positive body image

“Pretty in Pink”

Disney princesses aren’t the only passive role models encoded and encouraged in girl culture. If you walk into any ‘Toys “R” Us’ you will see very clearly how we as a society divide girls and boys and what we think each gender should be aspiring to do in the world,” says Anea Bogue, author of 9 Ways We Are Screwing Up Our Girls and How We Can Stop and the creator of REALgirl, an empowerment program for girls. “The boys’ aisles are all about taking action, being heroes or warriors and saving others. The girls’ aisles are primarily pink and focus on looking ‘pretty,’ being princesses or playing in the kitchen.” (Read More)

9 Things Every Woman Should Know About Her Period

The reality is that our menstrual cycle is extremely powerful and does impact the way we feel from one day to the next. It’s also true that we have heightened strengths during every phase of our cycle. Unfortunately, most of us don’t know about the intricacies of our cycle and how to really capitalize on these strengths because from the time we hit puberty we’re given very little information about it. Why? Because there is a long-standing and deeply-rooted taboo around the subject of menstruation. (read more)

Anea Shares The Ways You Might Be Holding Your Daughter Back from Her Full Potential Without Even Knowing It

As parents, we’ve never told our daughters that there are “girl-specific” jobs, or that the key to happiness and self-worth is marriage. (Of course, we can’t help the messages they might see when we’re not around.) But there are other ways in which our daughters, and the other little girls in our lives, could be learning life lessons from us that will lead them to shy away from “challenging” subjects like trigonometry and engineering, take the first low salary offered to them out of college or get burned out before age 30.

We asked Anea Bogue, M.A., an acclaimed self-esteem expert, educator, certified life coach and creator of REALgirl® empowerment workshops, to share some of the ways you might be holding your daughter back from her full potential without even knowing it. (Read more)

What Rush Limbaugh, Chris Brown and Modern Family All Have in Common

Most people are stunned to learn that according to recent studies, the self-esteem of the average girl in our society peaks at the age of 9 and then plummets. What’s worse is that many (and I dare say most) women will tell you that their 9 year-old self-esteem never fully returns and that they have spent the better portion of their adult life trying to find and reclaim the confidence and self-value they knew as little girls.

Why do we all need to know about what effectively constitutes a crisis of self-esteem among girls and women in our culture? Because multiple studies have drawn strong correlations between low self-esteem and eating disorders, drug abuse, depression, risky sexual behavior, low academic performance and general performance levels that are well beneath one’s potential. (Read more)

Protect Your Daughters From Predators!
Let me be very clear. Under no circumstances is it OK for a man to have sex with a woman unless she has given him a resounding, “Yes!” So when an intoxicated 20-year-old college girl told Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, “No. This is not OK” when he had one of his bodyguards escort her into a bar’s back room, that should have been the end of it. Period… (Read more)

9 Historic Realizations Every Woman Should Know About
Without the whole story, we can’t change the whole world for the better. Imagine deciding among your extended family members that a family history should be written to inform and guide future generations. It would include the building blocks of your family, perspectives on the world, values, traditions and more. Now imagine that the male members in your family decide that they alone will write your family’s history. (Read More)

Anea Bogue: Closing the Great Divide Between Moms and Teenage Daughters
As a former teacher Anea Bogue, always recognized the girl whose low self-esteem was standing in the way of reaching her potential. Conversely, she had experienced plenty of occasions when a mom openly expressed her inner turmoil surrounding her daughters’ transition through adolescence. As a result, Bogue realized that she needed to offer her support to moms in their own transition from mother of a little girl to mother of a teen. (Read more)

9 Ways Dads Can Help Their Daughter’s Self-Esteem 
The fact is, a father plays a fundamentally important role in shaping his daughter’s sense of self-value, so it is important that he know just what to do from her first breath right on through the challenging teen years. (Read more)

Girl Power: Nine Ways to Build Your Daughter’s Self-Esteem 
Most moms I work with are completely unaware of studies out of the NYU Child Study Center that indicate the average American girl’s self-esteem peaks at the age of nine and then plummets. Yes, you read that correctly—nine. The reasons they report are many and varied, ranging from hormonal shifts to media influence, specifically the sexualization of girls and the setting of unrealistic physical standards. (Read more)

Getting mentally ready for the school year 
Establishing a routine in the coming days will give children the structure and discipline to succeed at their grade level, among their peers and as adults, experts said… (Read more)

Anea Bogue Featured on Podcasts & Radio